A journey, an odyssey.

Monday, February 28, 2005

God's Grace

Really, i tell you with all frankness and truthfulness.. I wasn't the least happy when i received my results.. NOPE NOT AT ALL. Don't worry, i did fine.. :P really i think it was relatively well.. but at tt point of time.. in NYGH.. my grades seem to be paling in comparison to everyone's .. cos.. apparently.. having a perfect score is simply not good enuff.. they were comparing A1s. -_-" haha.. i, well, was less than perfect! haha .. so i felt really rotten.. like CRAP. yeps.. so i did start to cry and all.. you noe.. all the breaking down and crap. Seriously, now, when i look back, I think i had acted really stupidly 7hours ago. Cry... CRY FOR WHAT?

hmm.. mabbe its the sch culture? Anything less than perfect is rotten .. or something.. u noe.. like if u tell a person tt you got (>6) .. they'll go .. oh no, its ok.. u'll do better..... but i often forget tt compared to the whole of Singapore.. my grades are not bad at all.. Still.. it was mostly the self expectation .. and the Pride.. the face-value i could never put down and leave behind.

Why? hmm.. i can tell you why.. cos i was simply being blinded by issues of esteem, ego-ness, issues of comaprison with the people ard me.. tt i had forgotten to thank God for the Grace He has shown me.. I mean.. I could have gotten worse.. And .. I actually got a freaking A1 for my english and my physics! haha .. in case you did not noe.. these were like the banes of my life! haha *thinks of the time i was crying whilst studying physics...* Really, I thank God tt i'm still able to stay in VJC... I thank God tt I really did well for the subjects I used to get a B or even a C! I thank God for His wisdom and protection during the Exam period.. i noe how many times i've almost broke down whilst studying.. i thank God tt All my A1s came at the right subbies.. I thank God for His grace and Mercy.. I thank God for being Faithful.. I thank God.. for so many so many things...

I thank God for all the friends who smsed me before the results to wish me luck.. i thank God for the friends who gave me a shoulder to cry on, to lean on.. i thank God for friends who never gave up on me.. I thank God for people who showed concern to me throughout the day.. I thank God for my sqdmates who are so crappy..

So many, so many things .. I've gotta Give God the Glory!.. really.. i think i might have given up studying half way thru~~~~~~~~ SZE YING! DAJIE !!!!! REMEMBER HOW FREAKED AND STRESSED I WAS???? .. yup.. i was practically a walking zombie lor!.. yep.

So, now? I'm happy.. and relieved.. a bit sad too.. haha cos of self expectations.. other than tt.. real glad.. So now? MY new resolution? to really..hmmmmmmmmmm... Start being my mugger self. its time to MUG, my dear.. Jiaying, you've slacked for the past 2 months.. and now.. PLS GO BACK AND STUDY. yep.. gonna be in the fighting mode le.. esp when my bio and chem wasn't too good... heehee... *peng myself*

:::: MUGGER- MODING ::::

Written and pondered over, but emotional at 9:43 PM

VISION AND DREAMS

Paeds Specialist!
I can do the impossible! :)

SHORT TERM GOALS

1. Seek ye first the Kingdom of God
-- I wanna start cultivating good habits like prayer and fasting as a NECESSARY, ESSENTIAL part of my daily lifestyle

2. I wanna groom myself well
-- no more,sloppy behaviour, only appropriate behaviour. Must up another level!!!!

3. Dance like I've never danced before
-- I want to take dance really seriously. SERIOUSLY.

4. Serve more in ministry
-- enough of casual, convenient Christianity already.

MID TERM GOALS

1. Do Well in NUS Year 1
-- get into Dean's List and SEP!!! Jia You!

2. Learn L.A. Hip Hop!

3. Rise up to be a Leader in a Ministry :)

4. Save up for SOT!!!! $$$

LONG TERM GOALS

Get into GMS!!!
I can do ALL things through CHRIST who strengthens me!