Wednesday, December 28, 2005
The Secret mission to mars with a blurred spaceship and an empty head..
The title of today's posts basically summarizes everything tt happened last night.Yes, i admit it, tho was still having my fwen,fever,visiting me, i stubbornly refused to take a break,and stayed up the entire night working on my secret mission to mars..then i had NP this morning, from 9 to 5,and now i'm paying the price for it -- per say a throbbing headache, a blocked nose, a brain tt's malfunctioning, a terrible throat, sweating profusely.. ok.. i'm feeling down in the rut. Grace ! Grace! Grace! And my exams coming along.. i'm super stressed.. and tired and feeling veh sick.. and i think i'm gonna fail my exams. I just wanna sit down and start crying man. .. argh!
With this totally conked out head, i could still think on my way to AH today. Was toking to a particular fwen last night, about having the ability to go deep, in terms of convresation and feelings. And suddenly, it drove me thinking about the type of friends people possibly can have, and i decided tt there are really several categories of people i noe.
1.there are the strangers, people who i might xin xue lai chao and really like to smile at them
2. The aquaintances, people whom i noe and dun really tok much yet i smile at them
3. The oooh-hi-i-noe-who-are-u people.. they are those i attempt to chat a little out of courtesy and perhaps networking..
4. The Yey-i-like-knowing-you! people.. they are those who i will not just tok to, but also recognise.. and even crap with!Here, not many opinions are shared, but when asked may share with some caution
5. The i-know-who-are-u-but-please-keep-a-distance-away-fr-me-dun-push-ur-luck people.. haha, they are those whom i can talk really really shallow talk, and still with formalities involved...and really, talking less is more :P
6. The Friend-friends They are those who i can share certain opinions on things but with some caution.. they are definitely those i can tok rubbish w tho!, and i do enjoy spending time with them
7. The more-than-friends-friend.. these are people, whom i can go just a little deeper.. and perhaps a little more insights from me..and about my life is being shared... Rubbishing included. >.<
8. The more-more-than-friends-friend..they are those i really dun mind sharing a little more on my life.. get them to be in my shoes at times..but still.. some barrier is there
9. The superfriend ... they are people whom i can really put down most of my defences and share a whole load of things... and these people have more than just fwenship with me...
10. The sister-friend.. reserved for my "blood-is-thicker-than-water" sisters..hahha... to really bare my thoughtlife and no defences at all.. still there might b some of my darkest and deepest secrets... muahahahahahahahaha ...
11. The ultimate level of fwenship.. the Godhead-3-in-1-fwenship... complete truth and not afraid to confess anything at all..
______________________
where are u on my list? u may think u are already there, when really u r not. haha... esp for fwens btw the no.4 and 5... the people in 5 will tend to feel as tho they are the 4 and vice versa... haha.. but i realised something.. there are really those whom i really want to get to noe.. yet i never made the effort to just start... Why didn't i even start? Pride, shy... what ever it is.. i've let many potential fwenships slip past due to my own opinions or peer pressure.. haha.. horrid!
Back on toking deep on the higher levels of the fwenship might just get to touch depe ba.. haha... Like wad angie once said, well perhaps i'm too scared to get hurt... i rather no pain than the feeling of betrayal or pain...perhaps it all boils down to insecurity.. I feel a little of such caution might be good, as long as it does not go overboard! haha...
Anw.. i cannot think anymore.. i have more things to complete... Strength oh God.. Strength!
Written and pondered over, but emotional at
9:57 PM
ME, what I aim to be...
A Writer.
A seeker.
A thinker.
A learner.
A disciple.
Verse of the Season
~ Calla Lillies
Quote of the Season
If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.
