Tuesday, January 09, 2007
The old has passed, the new has begun!
Looking back. I shall look back just this once last time, and no more shall i dwell on the past, shall i dwell on the pain, but rather, thank God for everything good that has happened to me!
Reading through all my past entries, I realised that then, I really ddn't know what joy is about. there was no joy, only pain and unnecessary sufferings. the A levels really brought me down. I had no control over my emotions and my feeliung, in fact my whole life was ruined by my thoughts and my emotions! anything to learn from that? I need to renew my mind and be motivated by the Rhema word of God, not the rubbish word of emotions and hell. In short? Emotional Hell. Pun intended.
2006, a really roller coaster ride year. I fell in life, i fell in love, I fell for the devil's lies. I really din do well in my studies, and yet, even though now, I'm uncertain, but I believe God has a plan. A good plan, an extraordinary plan for me. I don't know aht the future holds, but I know my God in Jeremiah 29:11: has something great, exciting in store for me!
I am going to persevere and see all my dreams and my vision come to pass!
Yep! 2006, a truly difficult year, haha, had the bad, had my fair share of hurts and failures, and I know that God will keep testing me in these weak areas until I;'m matured enough to continue and carry on to the next level. In fact reading through all my past posts makes me feels foolish and stupid, esp the period of depression. I know that to many people, this is just me wallowing in my sorrow, or just trying to seek attention. Well, i have to admit it, perhaps perhaps perhaps! but! the truth remains, the pain is real, the sadness and sorrow is real, the tears are real, the fear is real. All of them are so hurting that it practically digs my heart. the torment and the torture these feeling brought me for that past few months were horrendous and the effects it had on me, were simply overwhelming. No one would have thought all these happened to me, that I'[m actually such a depressive person, because I'm alwasy so strong on the outside, and i've alwasy been the one counselling. But everyone has their weakness right? Mine woud be getting stuck in emotional ruts. And needless to say, one of my resolutions this year would be to be able to get out of my emotional ruts quicker and faster, but by not just using good methods, but by iusing God methods! Amen! so I'm trusting God for renewed strength and ability to move on with pain and to move on and go through trials with victories at hand!
yep! The bad, of course i have the good too! :) The good would be that I'm blessed, in fact so so so so blessed by the LORD. It is definitely God's grace that I'm able to survive till today. It is definitely God's mercy that I haven't given up on my salvation nor have I been wooed over by the world. and It's God's grace that the end of the year has worked out and it is my Harvest time!
For one, I had my finiancial blessings!an approx of about $800 in cash/gifts from my friends and relatives and my job! Its truly amazing of what God can do! But truly, its not about the blessings, Its about the blesser. What's the blessings, if I don't have the Blesser. Surely His presence mean more than any of these blessings! Yep! If there's anything I were to learn from the entire year, would be that God's presence is supreme and is superior above all. That i NEED HIM to survive, even the best day without Him cannot win the worst day with Him! :) I need God! I Love Him!
So, i just wanna thank God for everything. For favour from people, for Hs blessings upon me. Truly He is faithful!
Written and pondered over, but emotional at
12:17 AM
ME, what I aim to be...
A Writer.
A seeker.
A thinker.
A learner.
A disciple.
Verse of the Season
~ Calla Lillies
Quote of the Season
If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.
