A journey, an odyssey.

Monday, April 30, 2007

Giving up? Its just not my cup of tea.

I realise that I may not be suited to be a teacher, at all. Teaching is really tough, and it is really taking a toll on me.

I can still remember the days when I would get excited, having to think how I try to motivate my students (passion that lasts for only a week - yes,passion is but love that lasts for an intense moment). Yet now, I enter the some classes with a little disdain. I carry the knowledge that I would be bullied, ignored and perhpas laughed at. Then sometimes, I get scolded, stared at, scorned by some of the senior teachers. I have to agree my classroom management is really lousy. but it isn;t like I haven;t tried. Well perhpas, my downfall is that I have given up. I really gave up. Too tired to fight, too tired to shout. No point, they never listen. Then again, I may just be too sensitive. wahaha!

Am quite weary though, i realy want a break, to stay home and stare at the telly, and dance a little at home here and there. I want to do so many things, but life is so cluttered. the last thing I want to do is to stifle the potential that God has for me. Yet now, there's this small little voice in me that says : "The joy of the LORD is your strength." I know, and in fact, it has been this voice that has been pulling me through. Otherwise I would have seriously dieded.
In an environment where it is cold and i have no good friends, how am I to survive?

But God is good yea, He never fails to encourage us.. in little and in Big ways. Thank you LORD, for being there when i was sinking real bad, thank you for reminding that i can get through things, and I can stop thinking about what people are thinking of me.. thank you God for showing to me that the only, ONLY addiction approval I need is from God!
hehe...

Written and pondered over, but emotional at 10:57 AM

VISION AND DREAMS

Paeds Specialist!
I can do the impossible! :)

SHORT TERM GOALS

1. Seek ye first the Kingdom of God
-- I wanna start cultivating good habits like prayer and fasting as a NECESSARY, ESSENTIAL part of my daily lifestyle

2. I wanna groom myself well
-- no more,sloppy behaviour, only appropriate behaviour. Must up another level!!!!

3. Dance like I've never danced before
-- I want to take dance really seriously. SERIOUSLY.

4. Serve more in ministry
-- enough of casual, convenient Christianity already.

MID TERM GOALS

1. Do Well in NUS Year 1
-- get into Dean's List and SEP!!! Jia You!

2. Learn L.A. Hip Hop!

3. Rise up to be a Leader in a Ministry :)

4. Save up for SOT!!!! $$$

LONG TERM GOALS

Get into GMS!!!
I can do ALL things through CHRIST who strengthens me!